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13 Tips for Navigating Apple’s Customer Service at the Apple Store
I feel like quite the expert in dealing with Apple’s customer service after all my Macbook and hissing charger problems. so after being here 6 times in 2 weeks, 3 new macbooks and seven 60watt and one 80watt chargers later (look at the set of photos this is part of – I documented my mac drama).
Here are tips in dealing with their customer service:
1.) Use the handicap women’s bathroom stall. The single stalls are so small that you have to stand over the toilet to close the door – and you therefore you risk falling into the toilet.
2. take the elevator if you wear a skirt – the clear stairs are see through therefore your nether regions can easily be seen by anyone sitting underneath the stairs (there is a sitting area beneath the stairs)
3. The manager’s name is Max – go to him for any problems that the genius can’t solve. He’s super cool and helpful.
4. Check out the cute men and women in the store – Apple users are always good looking – especially in the summer the geeks look so cute! Ignore the PC users who are in the store b.c they have a "PC compatible IPod." It’s easy to spot those PCers. Oh and also ignore the annoying mid-town workers who try to be pushy about their appt time b.c they have an "important" client waiting for them. That’s why you have to stand next to the check-in person – even if your appt is up for 15 min – you never know what crazy corporate has to go back to their office.
5. Make your appt before before 4pm if you can – after that there is usually a 15min-1.2 hr delay.
6. check your e-mail in the kids computer section – they have really comfortable bean bags to sit on while you browse your flickr contact photos.
7. My favorite apple genius are women – from my point of view as a woman – the men are too busy flirting with you to quickly solve the problem and they get annoyed when you try to work with them to troubleshoot the problem.
8. Check in immediately when you get to the genius bar for your appt. Make sure that you are always in hearing distance of the check in man just in case your name is called out earlier.
9. The Apple Plaza above ground outside has wi-fi.
10. Bring a bottle of water to fill up on their drinking fountains if you plan on being there for long.
11. Don’t panic the minute you get up to the genius bar. I’ve seen enought customers panic so badly about their "specific" apple ipod.laptop problem that their intense anxiety gets in the way of them clearly communicating their problem. State your problem as facts – write down exactly what is happening.
12. Do as much research as you can on your problem on Apple’s discussion boards before you get there. Apple Genius’s are not real geniuses – I would like to beleive that but your time is best maximized when you go onto discussion boards to see how other’s have dealt with the problem, what apple’s response has been and etc. Years ago – I would just bring my powerbook in when it was acting weird and I would say "it’s being weird – it does this weird thing sometimes and I can’t get this thing to work." That kind of language does not help them. If anything – I pointed my Geniuses to the discussion boards and showed them that other’s also had my problem
13.) NEVER take no for an answer. be persistent. be persistent. ask to speak to their manager if you are not happy with the response. Apple never wants mad customers – so if you don’t get what you want start turning red and tell them you will spread vicious lies about Apple 🙂
Divorce Lawyer Lunch Time Talk
Fifth Ave Apple Store Plaza
I am sitting here and I can here every word these divorce lawyers r saying. The one is the middle is going through a divorce himself and the other two are making fun of him b.c his wife’s divorce lawyer is a big ‘asshole’ according to them. He keeps saying, "she’s sleeping with her lawyer I know it. That bitch."
The guy on the left (#1), is talking bout why he never married, "b.c every woman cheats." the guy on the right (#3) says "who cares we all do even if we are married. I answer the phone when Annie calls. Merideth thinks its a business call. Just say its for work man!"
So #1 says, "but its hard to deal with hotels. Its just better to not marry."
ahhhh new york city…aren’t we as cynical as ever. Now overhearing this conversation just makes me feel so sorry for these guys. They r so insecure, so lonely and so messed up. No matter how much ur suit is or how much u can win for ur client, u’re all so alone at the end of the day. So I wonder how do u mask the loneliness?
When I got up, #3 had the audacity to hit on me! I assume that he must have known that I heard their conversation b.c I was sitting so close. Or maybe I was too absorbed with taking their picture with my cell and writing about it in front of their faces that didn’t realize that I was taking notes on their conversations.
reminder to women: don’t date divorce lawyers – it’s hard enought to find a genuine-loving corporate lawyer, but hands off divorce lawyers – especially ones that have already gone through a divorce themselves!